Summer Pre-Season Spectacular!

Tomorrow is the last day of April, which means Saturday is the first day of May which means summer is pretty much almost here, which means it's time for a list. Here's a list of things I'm really looking forward to this summer and some (hopefully) humorous remarks about them. (in chronological order, when appropriate).
1. Iron Man 2

I mean, look at this guy. For some reason, I always liked War Machine more than Iron Man. I think it was probably because War Machine is a lot cooler name than Iron man, also the color scheme is a lot cooler, also, he's black. I love Don Cheadle (I mean, LOVE him, love him). Scarlett Johannson is also in this movie and is also awesome (of course by awesome I mean hot,ex: "Careful, I just took that pizza out of the oven, it's very awesome."). And let's not forget about RDJ. So much has been said about the man the little else can be said to describe him other than this; he is the Johnny Depp of the years 2008 thru 2012, and maybe longer depending on A: how much the next Pirates movie sucks and 2: How many Avengers movies they make.

2. The 48 Hour Film Festival: Year 2.
Ok, so Brian Trainmayer and I's web series idea never happened. We made a go of it, but it just didn't happen, and probably never will. But we are going to work together on something called the 48 hour film festival. We were on a team last year and the results of that teams effort was mixed at best (it was mostly a mixture of sucking and terribleness). Fortunately this year, we have group of more like-minded people. We'll see how well it works out.
3. Musica!
There are some new albums from bands I like coming out this summer. The only ones I can think of right now are The Black Keys and The Arcade Fire. I like both of these bands with muchness, and hopefully their new albums will worthy additions to the respective bands' already quite auspicious legacies. Also if they tour near here, I would like to see both of these bands live. Speaking of concerts (which I was) Jeff Tweedy and She and Him are both going to be playing in St. Louis this summer!

4. Family
Most of my family lives within 120 miles of my house, so I get to see them with some regularity, but there are a select few who live outside that tri-state bubble, and when they make it back to Cape it is always a joyous occasion that involves more than a little amount of boardgame nights and ice cream parties. Joe is coming home for a week in May and Katie will be home this weekend (I haven't heard whether or not Joshua will be making an appearance this summer, but it's sadly, unlikely), so that will be exciting.

5. Pete and Kaylen's Wedding!
In addition to being one of the cutest couples I know, (although, to be fair there's not a lot of competition, assuming that I'm only counting couples that are my age and are friends of mine, which I am, so really they're one of the cutest of about 10 couples, which is still something, I suppose)

Pete and Kaylen and just about the swellest people I know. So I'm about as happy as I can be for them as I can be for people that are not me. I think it's pretty well known that empathy isn't one of my strong suits, so I yeah, I think that says something. By the way, the above picture is one of their engagement pictures. It's not part of some sort of creepy stash of photographs I have of Pete and Kaylen just lying around on my computer (although I do have some of those, but they're mostly of Pete, dressed as famous dead painters and are for my eyes only).

6. Scott Pilgrim Book 6/Scott Pilgrim vs the World
There really is nothing else in this world that I am more excited about the the Scott Pilgrim movie. I think I've mentioned before that I enjoy the work of Edgar Wright. He is my hero. And the Scott Pilgrim comic book series is pretty much a pitch perfect love story for hipster nerds like myself. The marriage of these two properties is something beyond perfect. Plus after seeing Chris Evans movie stealing performance in The Losers last week, I became even more excited about the prospect of him being involved in this film. In short, this movie will rock and there's nothing you can do about it.

Ok that's all I can think of now. It's entirely likely that I will blog about this things more when they happen, but I think it's entirely more likely that I won't, so there you have it.

The Old F***ing West

Over the past two weeks I watched the Television program Deadwood in it's entirety. Being a show with an all too brief 36 episode run, this was not an incredibly difficult task, but it was also an not easy one (How's that for a thesis statement!). Due to the intricacy of the plot and the engrossingness (Spellcheck doesn't believe that "engrossingness" is a word. It also doesn't think "spellcheck" is a word. There's probably some sort of joke in there...) of the show it was hard for me to do anything else while watching, which means I spent approximately 30 hours doing nothing but watching television over the course of two weeks (although I actually finished it last Sunday, which means I watched 30 hours over the course of 10 days). That is almost as much time as I spent working during the same period of time. I'll let the loserishness implied by that previous statement sink in a moment.

NEXT PARAGRAPH!

The first two seasons of Deadwood are some of the best television I've ever seen (although to be fair, since it was on HBO, it's not technically television (it's HBO)). The show builds, literally and deliberately. The first two seasons tell the story of a group of people that all happen to be in the same place at the same time and how that group becomes a community that becomes a town on the cusp on legality in a territory that doesn't really belong to them that becomes a bonafide town recognized by the United States Government. The pacing of this growth and it's affect on the central characters of the program is incredible to watch, this is do in large part to one of the most talented ensemble casts ever assembled (we're talking Star Trek TNG levels of talent here), but also due to the sheer fascinating nature of the story, which is mostly based on real people and events. The third season is about how the community bonds when threatened by an outside force in a storyline that, unfortunately, vastly overstays its welcome. The third season is also the last season of the show, but it seems like this came as a surprise to the creators, as it doesn't really finish as much as it stops. There's not a lot of closure at Deadwood's conclusion, and that's a shame.

The vulgarity is Deadwood is something that gets talked about a lot, and well it should be. The profanity bandied about in Deadwood is outstanding, both in its prevalence and it's eloquence. I have no problem with profanity. I think the idea that some words are assigned some sort of negative significance or infamy is an incredibly ludicrous concept. The idea that we as a society agree to find some words offensive based purely on tradition is comical. There are things that are unpleasant by their very nature, and to bring them up in certain situations can be inappropriate. I don't think talking about feces is every really appropriate, but if and when I do, the idea that poo, poop, doo doo, etc. are acceptable words to describe it around some people, whereas "crap" and "shit" would not be around the same people, is ridiculous. You can't say "asshole" on broadcast television. Everyone who has every lived has one of those, but you can't call it by that particular name on television because it's offensive. You can say murder on television, which is something that is far less common and a lot more offensive. Now don't get me wrong, I love profanity, and wouldn't want to speak a language that didn't have swear words, I just don't think people should act scandalized when they hear it, because that is exactly what they are doing; acting. People are conditioned to respond negatively to those words, and to be "offended" by their use isn't a rational reaction, it's a conditioned response. So I guess what I'm saying, is that if you have a problem with swear words, scrote up, and watch Deadwood anyway, and you will learn how much vulgarity can elevate conversation when used deftly.

So yeah, Deadwood. It's good.

Some possible titles for future blogposts if my life suddenly became a lot more awesome...

1. Me and Edgar Wright; The Graveyard Adventure!

2. My New Robotic Exo-suit is pretty cool

3. What should I name my Tiger?

4. Lycanthropy isn't all it's cracked up to be (It's Better!)

5. So I guess I'll be posting a lot more about being a ninja now...

6. Good News: Stevie Spielberg asked me to write Indiana Jones 5. Better News: The Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch is back.

7. Is it just me or have I developed magical powers?

8. I just met Jack White, and despite numerous dreams to the contrary, he doesn't hate me!

Clash of the Titans Sucks; or Pete Wissinger is an Idiot

So my very good friend Pete recently wrote a post defending Clash of the Titans. He agrees that it's not a good movie, but he says that it is exactly the kind of movie the preview led us to believe it would be. I suppose this is sort of true in as much as the preview was a series of out of context scenes and lines thrown together without any sort of coherence that looked really cool, but had no depth or characters to speak of or a plot that made sense, so in that respect the trailer was exactly like the movie in every way. Although I think, generally, we assume that the lines of dialogue and scenes shown in trailers will add up to something more when seen in the context of the entire film, but that wasn't the case with Clash of the Titans, what you see in the preview is pretty much exactly how you see it in the film. The film is a series of plot and dialogue non-sequitors strung together by Sam Worthington's horrible acting.

Everything about Clash of the Titans was bad (except for the special effects, most of the time), the acting wasn't good, the plot is inconsistent, the characters are unlikable, the screenplay seems like it was written by a committee of people who like cliches and who think that Transformers 2 is the greatest movie ever made. Nothing anyone does in the movie makes sense.

Hades: You know Zeus, since you are powered by people loving you, and I'm powered by people fearing me, it would probably be a good idea if I released a giant scary sea monster on a city of people that hate you, which would probably make them fear me more and make them love you even less.
Zeus: I can't see how that could go wrong.

Argosian Commander: We as a city have declared war on "the gods", who are fueled by us praying to them or something.
Sam Worthington: Yeah, the gods suck.
Argosian Commander: Totally. You know who is awesome and I wish was my best friend?
Sam Worthington: Zeus?
Argosian Commander: Yes. He is so awesome. Let's pray to him.
Sam Worthington: I'm already there, man.

Io: Ok, so here's what you need to know about Medusa. She turns you to stone if you look at her eyes, she's super fast, an incredible archer and she can't hurt women.
Sam Worthington: Oh, well this won't be too bad then, you can just go in there in take her out, no problem.
Io: Right, but I won't be joining you.
Sam Worthington: What?
Io: I won't be going in Medusa's cave.
Sam Worthington: Why not?
Io: Some sort of curse or something. It's not really explained all that well.
Sam Worthington: So wait, she can't hurt you?
Io: Not even if she tried.
Sam Worthington: And you won't be coming with us?
Io: Nope. And it's a double shame because not only am I immune to her powers, I'm a pretty good fighter as well, so... yeah. Your men are probably all going to die, really pointlessly too.
Sam Worthington: That's retarded.
Io: Yup.


I think it should be mentioned again that Sam Worthington is especially terrible in this film. Nothing he does in the movie is good. I don't understand why people keep putting him in their movies. He's not a particularly charismatic presence nor is he a particularly good actor. Also his accent is all over the place in the film. I know what he's doing is incredibly hard. Acting is not easy. Not everyone can do it, and I think Sam Worthington might just be one of those people.

Pete claims that it's acceptable for Clash of the Titans to be unabashedly terrible because it's a big dumb action movie, and big dumb action movies don't have to be good, but I think there have been enough big dumb action movies recently that have also been good (Pirates 1, Iron Man, GI Joe {yeah, I said it}, the last 2 Harry Potter movies, Sherlock Holmes, Batman Begins and Dark Knight) that we can start expecting more from our big dumb action movies.

So to put it in the immortal words of Tracey Jordan, "Yeah, suck it Pete."

Easter and What Not.

Today is Easter. Today is the day I end my Lenten resolution of not consuming sweets (technically I ended it after Easter Vigil Mass when I went to the BeeK and got a Dr. Pepper with my Tendercrisp). This is the second time I've given up sweets for Lent in addition to my normal giving up of soda and I would say that it was just as successful as my previous attempt. I didn't break my resolution, though I wanted to on many occasions, and I ate an s-load of apples. I pretty much increased my fruit and nut consumption by approximately 1000% this Lent, as I decided that they are not technically sweets.

Ok two things unrelated to Lent/Easter:

I'm listening to an album that Jimmy K gave me by a band called Chairlift. There is only one Chairlift song I'd ever heard before; it's called "Bruises". I first heard it when I went to Las Vegas (which I don't think I ever blogged about, sorry blog), it was kind of the unofficial theme song of my trip to Vegas. Not because it was particularly relevant to what I experienced on the trip, but just because of its ubiquity. It was featured in an I-pod commercial that was played repeatedly on an outdoor TV billboard outside of a mall that I walked by at least 5 times a day. It's the only song on the album that is worth listening to so far.

I've been reading some of the things I've written, short stories, blog posts, etc. and I've discovered, or more accurately rediscovered, that I really enjoy my writing. It really makes me laugh. Unfortunately, I don't think I can write like that anymore. I haven't written anything significant since I graduated, and all the incidental writing I do (like what I'm writing right now) is pretty dry and boring. This leads me to the conclusion that I am becoming less talented. I think that talent might be like a muscle, and it's been so long since I've used mine, it's atrophying.

I find it difficult to be productive when I have no real reason to be. I'm not hard enough on myself to make myself do anything I don't want to do. And it's not that I don't want to write, there's just other things I'd rather do. I think part of my problem is that I have too many distractions, too many things that I use as an excuse not to write. Perhaps, in order to become more productive I should remove some of those distractions. So I guess what I'm saying is that I should murder Justin Spaeth so I have more time to write.

Just kidding. Or am I? Who's to say really? I am. I am to say, and I'm saying; Your days are numbered Justin Blair Spaeth!

A brief discussion about what might be the most important moment in human history...

Last week (or maybe two weeks ago, I don't remember at this point), a movie trailer was released upon the webternet. The trailer fortells of a film that will come out in mid August that will, most likely, forever change the course of human history. The movie in question is called Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, and with it's release, it has the very real potential of succeeding in a way no other film before ever has. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World will very likely win the art of filmmaking.

If you haven't seen it, take a moment to now. I'll wait.

There have been many great films in the history of the artform, and very few that are perfect (there are five perfect films: The Godfather, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Star Wars: Episode IV, A Knight's Tale, and Shaun of the Dead), but Scott Pilgrim will very probably be the first and only film that will achieve a status that is beyond perfection. New adjectives will have to be invented in order to accurately capture the amount of goodness that exists within the film.

One might say that I'm setting the bar a little high, that my expectations are a bit too lofty, but to them I say this: If this world is a world wherein Edgar Wright can make a movie based on one of my favorite Comics, that stars Michael Cera and Jason Schwartzman and that movie is not the greatest film ever made, then this world is not worth living in. I can't even imagine a scenario in which I would not love this movie more than life itself. Normally when people say things like what I said in the previous sentence, they are being hyperbolic. Let me assure you, I am not. Trying to imagine Scott Pilgrim not being the greatest single work achieved by humanity is like trying to imagine a world where math doesn't work or where Zooey Deschanel isn't completely adorable.

Also I got a new computer.

I haven't blogged much lately mostly because I haven't had anything interesting to say. Here's a summary of the last three weeks of my life:

Work, Sleep, X-box.

That's mostly it. One weekend I went up to the Lou and hung out with Pete and Kaylen and learned how to play Munchkin (which is pretty fun) and tried to watch District 9 (which is significantly less fun). I've started running again, although I haven't been for the last couple of days do to weather and laziness.

I was actually off of work the last four days, which was sort of weird. It's the longest stretch I've gone without work for as long as I can remember. I can't say that I missed working, but I did miss being occupied. Today was sort of the culmination of my lack of productivity. I hung out with Matthew and the lads for close to 10 hours. I like hanging out with my friends, but I feel like I have to do something pretty spectacular to warrant that much leisure time.

Also today, I watched a lot of Archer, which is an incredibly funny show. I tried to imagine if it would be as funny if it were live action (since most of the voice actors play characters that are physically similar to the characters they voice, except for H. Jon), I determined that it probably wouldn't be, although I'm not really sure why.

Video

I finally figured out a way to edit the videos that I shoot with my little digital video camera. Unfortunately it's fairly time consuming as I have to first convert the files with a video converter then edit them using Window's Movie Maker (which is only has a slightly worse interface than Final Cut, but is a lot less powerful). It's not ideal, and I'm still figuring the system out, but here's something I made using it.




Also, they published an interview I did for Spinner.com. You can check that out too.

Let's take a moment to talk about Neil Diamond.

Take a moment and listen to this.

That song was written by Neil Diamond in 1966, and was probably the best non-Beatles pop song in existence until Abba recorded "Take a Chance on Me" in 1977.

I was first introduced to Neil Diamond by a film called "Saving Silverman". If you haven't seen Saving Silverman, or if you've only seen it on television, do yourself a favor and go rent it, but make sure you get the R-rated version. This movie features pre-School of Rock Jack Black, when he was funny and used F-bombs. In the film, the main character and his buddies have a Neil Diamond tribute band and Mr. Diamond plays a semi-integral part to the plot of the movie. I was a big fan of the movie and the soundtrack in particular so I ended up downloading a sizeable chunk of it (probably using Napster, back when every "funny" song on Napster was attributed to Weird Al).

Most of Neil's other songs lack the nearly effervescent joy of Cherry Cherry (except for Thank The Lord for the Night Time, which is pretty much the exact same song, which is to say, is completely awesome), but over the course of the 2 minutes and 40 some odd seconds that is Cherry Cherry, Neil Diamond crafted the quintessential pop song. It's got everything; a catchy, rhythmic guitar riff, clap along percussion, the hooky piano breakdown in the middle of the song, and most important of all, Neil's smokey, soulful voice.

I don't listen to contemporary pop radio. I've heard what "the kids" are listening to these days, and it doesn't interest me. There is something contrived about the music that gets played on the radio. It is music manufactured to sell records, to sell itunes, to sell Now That's What I Call Music. Granted, most artists would like to be able to make money performing their art, but a lot of contemporary music seems more like a product (or a production) than art. My cousin Katie once told me about the best concert she's ever been to. It was a Kylie Minogue concert in New York City. It was attended by mostly gay men and Australians (what's the difference, really?) and, by her account, was great because of the production value of the costumes, lights etc. Now, it is entirely possible that this was the best concert she's ever been to, (the only other concert I can say with certainty she attended was when Nickelback came to Cape) but in her retelling of the concert, the music didn't really even come up.

I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with liking musicians and music based on their aesthetic appeal (although I do think it's wrong with every part of my being... but I'm trying to be less judgmental), but all of the Lady Gagas, Taylor Swifts and Black Eyed Peas of the world can't compete with the three chord brilliance of Cherry Cherry because it has something that none of them will ever have the; unabashed talent and incandescence of The Jewish Elvis.

The Deplorable State of Werewolf Cinema

For pretty much my entire life, I've wanted to be a werewolf. Of the monster pantheon, werewolves have always been the most bad-ass of the bunch. For the most part they live normal lives, but once a month they become superheroes (or villains, depending on where they chose to be when they change). Unfortunately, werewolves aren't real (or are they? No they are not), so I am forced to live my lycanthropic lifestyle vicariously through movies and videogames. Sadly, both of these mediums rarely do werewolves justice. Case in point: The Wolfman.

The Wolfman had a lot of things going for it; Benecio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, this trailer, the director of Honey I Shrunk The Kids... the title of best werewolf movie was ripe for the taking. But, instead of being 90+ minutes of lupine awesomeness, The Wolfman was a plodding, joyless, boring mess of inconsistent accents, stilted, cliche ridden dialogue, a complete lack of suspense and as much characterization as is shown in the aforementioned trailer. People have backstories and histories, but there previous lives do very little to inform their choices in the film. Lawrence, the main character, is an actor for some reason. This bit of information is never relevant. It doesn't have anything to do with what the character does or says, it's just an interesting bit of trivia (I suppose it's possible that it's a nod to the original wolfman movie, but I've never seen it, so I wouldn't know). Hugo Weaving is supposedly playing Inspector Aberline, the detective in charge of the Jack the Ripper murders. This too is mentioned in nothing more than a throw away line. In fact, most of the lines in this movie are just unresponsive bits of pronouncement. Benicio will walk into a room and, apropos of nothing, will say something like "I wish things were different" and that will be an entire scene.

This movie suffers from what a lot of werewolf movies suffer from (At this point I should probably mention that I have not seen that many werewolf movies. I've only seen one of the Howling movies, Silver Bullet, Van Helsing, all of the Underworld Movies, Both American Werewolf Movies, Trick r' Treat... that might be it), and that is having the plot of a werewolf movie. The plot goes something like this; Main character doesn't believe in werewolves, gets attacked by a werewolf, becomes a werewolf, kills people, feels guilty, becomes a werewolf again, dies. The exception to this rule are movies about werewolves that also involve other monsters, especially vampires (and maybe the Ginger Snaps movies, I've never seen those). The problems with this kind of plot are: 1. you know the main character is going to die, so it's difficult to have any sort of emotional investment in them, 2. because of the werewolf mythology (ie; the Full Moon) the movie has to take place over a long period of time (usually over 2 to 3 months, which will give you 3-4 transformations), and these movies aren't very good with dealing with that much time compression, so there's a lot of montages of being in a coma or walking around instead of building containment rooms or saferooms or driving to unpopulated areas. The movies just tread water until it's time for another transformation.

One of my life goals is to add something significant to the Werewolf movie Genre, which won't be too hard, since most werewolf movies blow.

The Opposite of Clutch

If I was a DnD character (or a character from any pencil and paper RPG that uses a similar system of traits) I would have some sort of trait that allowed me to be slightly better than most people at most things initially, (so for instance, if the normal number for an untrained skill is 10, I would be an 11), but the downside would be that I improve at a much slower rate. The reason I would have this trait as a DnD character is because it is a trait that I have in real life (how's that for a segue).

I'm not lamenting this fact, nor am I complaining about it. That ability has it's uses, but it is also frustrating at times. It's especially frustrating at my new job. Learning to be a pharmacy tech is like learning a different language. There are so many different rules and tricks that one has to know and there really is no easy way to learn them other than doing them (or in my case, doing them wrong). I am constantly making mistakes at my new job. They are not big mistakes or life threatening ones, but they are mistakes that slow me and the pharmacy down. It is frustrating to feel more like a liability than an asset. I know that, with time, I'll figure out what I'm doing, and be better at things, but part of me isn't interested in learning all of these things.

I have been thinking a lot lately about knowledge of things. I am of the opinion that there is no inherent goodness in most kinds of knowledge. Knowing the capital of India (Mumbai... or is it Dehli... Crap. I just looked it up. It's New Delhi) isn't inherently better than knowing the name of the ship that Captain Ahab took to go after Moby Dick (the Pequod). Knowing one might be more useful, but usefulness isn't the same as goodness. Knowing either one of those things doesn't effect how I live my life. Although I could make the case that practical knowledge could lead to goodness or happiness. Knowing how to tie one's shoes is practical. Having your shoes tied makes it easier to get around. Being able to get around makes me happy. Epistemology was always my least favorite part of philosophy, but is also the part that has done the most lasting damage to my thought process.

A post about the Office

I am probably the most vocal critic of the American Office in the world (Proove me wrong, I dare you). I love nothing more (not even breathing) than to pick apart each episode to find every possible flaw and logical and emotional disconnect that I can find in order to fuel my argument that the American Office is the most overrated show of all time, ever (except for MASH). It is a show that has forsaken its simple, but compelling premise of making insightful, subtle comedy about the tedium of working in an office into something that is about a laugh track away of being a Two and a Half Men lead in. The Office has become a bad show.

Or at least that's what I thought.

Then I saw an episode entitled "The Banker". This episode might be the single greatest work of comedy writing ever shown on television. Before the Christmas break, the gang at the Office were in a bit of trouble. Dunder Mifflin, which is a company traded on the New York Stock Exchange (Maybe you've heard of it?), but doesn't have a functional web site, was in for a big shake up. The corporate big-wigs were all getting fired and the future looked uncertain for our favorite Scranton workaholics. Office fans were full of questions heading into this weeks episode and the Office addressed all those questions with two simple, but powerful words: Clip. Show.

Were you wondering who was going to take David Wallace's position as the new CFO? Well, let me answer that question by showing clips of people saying "That's what she said".

Were you concerned about how Pam and Jim's baby is doing? Perhaps some footage of Jim playing basketball from the first season will allay your fears.

Is the Office going to continue to be better than the last two seasons, but nowhere near as good as the first three seasons? I think you'll find what you're looking for in these scenes of Michael hitting shelves with a fork lift.

I thought that we, as a society, were done with clip shows, especially in our sitcoms, especially in our sitcoms that are supposed to be one of the best shows on television (I don't know anyone who actually thinks this. I think The Office is becoming like the Simpsons; something that is beyond critical scorn, a television institution that is just watched and admired unquestioningly, despite how ridiculously bad it gets. Although, fortunately, The Office hasn't yet approached the level of mediocrity that the Simpsons has sunk to). I don't know why, but for some reason the idea of The Office doing a clip so is especially ludicrous to me. I think this is because in essence, the show is kind of clip show anyway. It's a highlight real of all the funny stuff that happens that day in the office. They don't need the excuse of an episode devoted to showing the "best of" every episode before it to make reference to previous episodes. When Michael says, "that reminds me of the time I wrecked my car", they cut to him wrecking his car. This kind of thing happens in every episode. Usually it's footage specific to that episode, but still, the concept is nothing new. However, because they rarely make references to things that happen in previous episodes (except for plot relevant stuff) and even rarer do they actually show footage from earlier episodes, the act of having an episode where they do nothing but show footage from old episodes is not only a break in the shows normal format, but incredibly lame.

In summation, clip shows are lazy and stupid and I'm glad the Office is starting to suck again, because it justifies my completely irrational hatred of it (which I think is just a reaction to it's popularity versus the popularity of the British version, which is far superior in almost every way, and I'm not just saying that because I'm an Anglophile, and also my general dislike of everything that is nearly universally liked).

Next time I'll talk about a book I just read called "The Time Traveler's Wife". Here's an excerpt:

"I thought that"

See you next time.

Chuck vs. Me hating him

Sometime last year I developed an appreciation for the NBC series Chuck.
This appreciation had a lot to do with the sort of nerdy references that the show frequently made and also because of the interesting will-they won't they chemistry between the shows two leads, Chuck, played by Zach Levi, the one on the right, and Sarah, played by Yvonne Strahovski, the one on the left (and I would be lying if I didn't acknowledge the fact that Sarah's choice of attire, or lack there of, in some episodes is also a slight draw to the show, but totally not in a creepy way if you're reading this Yvonne... ok, maybe it's a little creepy, but still, if you wanted to go out or something I totally wouldn't be creepy at all. We could just go Panera or something, get some soup, maybe go catch a movie, talk for a bit then maybe go for a walk down by the river and then we'd both go our separate ways. Then maybe a couple days later I'd text you something like, "I had fun the other night" and you could text back something like "me 2 :)", and I'd be like "That's cool, we should get married. LOL" and you'd be like "that sounds awesome! LOL" then I'd be like, "No. I'm serious" and you'd be like "Me 2."). But recently I have fallen out of favor with Chuck.

The show is more or less a spy procedural, and as such, there aren't a lot that changes from week to week. The problem with this is that it's not a particularly good spy procedural. It seems like it was written back in the 90's before the general population had seen Jason Bourne movies or Munich; when the world believed, for the most part, that spying and counter-intelligence worked pretty much like it did in the Roger Moore James Bond movies (It's all about gadgets and witty comebacks and terrorists wanting to blow up the world unless they got paid a million dollars). Living in a post 9-11 (I hate using that phrase) world, Americans are (or should be) too smart to fall for this kind of nonsense. It's not that all TV should depict the world as it really is, but Chuck seems to take a remarkably juvenile approach to how the world works, and in a completely earnest way. There is nothing ironic about the depiction of the world in the Chuckverse (or the Chucktinuum as I sometimes call it). The struggle between the good guys and bad guys in Chuck is so painfully black and white that it approaches Disney levels of naivety. There are a couple of instances where the show veers off into slightly greyish moral areas (When Sarah shoots a guy in cold blood to protect Chuck) and, for me these are some of the shows high points.

Chuck (the show)'s inability to have any sort of significant changes to the main characters from episode to episode is also a bit frustrating to me. I don't know who along the line made the decision, but at some point, someone decided that at the end of every episode, the status quo should be immediately restored (unless it's the end of the season). Sarah gets fired? She comes back to save the day at the end of the episode. A new Intersect is made rendering Chuck (the character) unnecessary? The new intersect is actually a bomb and blows up the whole project so they have to start from scratch. The gang of bad guys from the first two seasons is defeated? It turns out they were just a puppet organization of the real enemies, The Ring. The lengths this show goes to not change absolutely anything about their formula for episodes is beyond ridiculous. It undermines any of the drama that could possibly be created because the audience knows at the end of the episode, all will be returned to normal. It punishing the fans of the show by essentially making them watch the same episode over and over again, which goes a little something like this:

Bad Guy: I'm going to steal something/kill somebody... In Los Angeles!
Meanwhile....

Sarah: So this bad guy and this thing the bad guy wants are in Los Angeles.
Chuck: I know where they are. I can stop them.
Sarah: Ok, let's go.

Chuck tries to stop them but fails, comically (usually because the bad guy isn't where he's supposed to be).

Chuck: I couldn't stop them.
Sarah: I don't believe the bad guy is really here anymore. Blah Blah Blah, boy who cried wolf.
Chuck: Well if you don't believe me, I'll just stop them myself.

Chuck runs away, gets into trouble, Sarah and Casey save him.

Chuck: Thanks guys, I guess I shouldn't have gone after them by myself.
Sarah: No, it's our fault for some reason.
Casey: Chuck, you know Sarah is in love with you.
Chuck: What!?

Chuck and Sarah have a moment, but it's cut short by some ridiculous bullshit. The end.


So to sum up, I don't like Chuck because it completely refuses to be postmodern. It his an extremely conventional TV show that has, somehow, amassed massive critical goodwill by mentioning Arcade Fire a couple times in its first season and occasionally playing Spoon songs. That being said, I will continue to watch it, because it's still funny frequently, it occasionally has awesome guest stars (Chevy Chase, Scott Bakula, Vinnie Jones, Brandon Routh...) and because Sarah walks around in her bra and panties every three episodes or so.

Late Night

This past week I worked an overnight shift at Walmart. I had never worked an overnight shift before. I'm experiencing the hardest part of working that shift right now, as it is 4:44 and I'm not asleep and have to get up at 9 tomorrow. I adapted pretty quickly to staying up late, and I'm not really sure how to unadapt. I fell asleep at 10 last night, but woke up at midnight and have been awake since. I'm going to be hella tired tomorrow, but that's alright. I'll catch up eventually. On the plus side, this experience has gotten me blogging about something that has been noticeably missing since I restarted this blog, sleeping. Riveting.

In other Walmart news that is also news about me Sunday will be my last day as a Lawn and Garden Associate (sad face), and Monday will be my first day as a pharmacy tech (conflicted face?). Wednesday night, whilst working the overnight shift, the pharmacy manager came up to me and asked if I was ready for an interview. Thursday night management was filling out my transfer paperwork (which doesn't really involve much paper). I had put Pharmacy as an option for career preferences because it pays better than my current position, but I thought I would be somewhere else before I actually got a chance to be in the pharmacy. As it turns out, I'm not somewhere else, so I guess I'll be going to Pharmacy.

Here's why I'm conflicted. Pharmacy is a full time job, which means I'll be making more money, but it is also a much bigger commitment than I had previously signed up for at Walmart. But more than that, I didn't really want to start working a full time job until I got a job in my field. Getting a full time job doing something that isn't video production or whatever feels like I'm giving up on doing what I want to do. I know this is a ridiculous thing to think, but it's difficult for me to see the short term benefits of taking a semi-serious job in a completely unrelated field when it feels like I'm giving up on my long term goal. I see a lot of people who take jobs they don't particularly like because of the short term benefits, then they get stuck doing that job for the rest of their life. A lot of them work at Wal-mart. The longer they do it, the easier it is to justify doing it.

This scenario is completely unacceptable to me. Mostly because work, for these people, becomes the means to their ends, and that's not what I want. They work to support their wives or husbands or children (or to buy more booze or guns or shoes or whatever, but it's usually the former). They work so they can live the rest of their life during the two days of the week they don't work and the one week of vacation they get a year, and what they have on those days is supposed makes it all worth it. There is no thing nor anyone that could make me spend 300 days a year something I don't want to do. I want work to be an end in an of itself, and although I do enjoy working at Wal-mart, it's not what I want to do. It's not an end.

I know this is a sentiment that most people have. No one is doing exactly what they want to do, and that's how life works. Giving up the dream is part of growing up. It's a concept captured nearly perfectly in a film I love to hate called Up, and maybe that's why I hate the movie. It's essentially about giving up on your dreams and then trying to recapture them later in life and realizing that your dreams were kind of crappy in the first place (and the talking dog says "Squirrel!" Hilarious!!! Dogs chase squirrels!). It's a reminder that part of growing up is realizing that you're not going to get to do everything you want to do and maybe that's not something I'm ready to concede just yet.

But for now, I'll be working 5 days a week in the Jackson Wal-mart Pharmacy and trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do with my life.

Damian Kulash (spelling?) does a pretty good Prince impression on the first track of OK Go's new album.

A Conversation

This is a conversation I usually have a couple of times a year. It happens when I meet someone new. I had this conversation last night at work (this isn't exactly how it when, but it was close).

Me: So, what kind of music do you like?
Them: Pretty much anything. I like all music.
Me: Do you like opera?
Them: I don't know.
Me: You probably don't. Opera is pretty terrible.
Them: Maybe I don't.
Me: What about Jazz?
Them: I don't really listen to Jazz.
Me: Hmm. What kind of music do you listen to?
Them: Pretty much everything else. Shinedown, Sugarland, Taylor Swift, Nickelback, Johnny Cash... you know, everything else.
Me: How do you feel about Rascal Flatts?
Them: I love Rascal Flatts.
Me: Of course you do.

I'm am such an asshole.

I find that, most of the time, when people say they like all music, they mean that they like all the music that gets played on the three radio stations they like to listen to. It took me a long time to start listening to music that doesn't get played on the radio, and it was a gradual process. I think most people just don't care enough to find other music to listen to, and really, they don't need to. It's entirely possible that they enjoy their music as much or more than as much as I enjoy mine. I like a lot of music that I know that most other people have never heard of before, and I don't like to admit it, but some of my enjoyment comes from the fact that a lot of people have never heard of it. I think its entirely possible that the converse is true for some people, they like music because almost every other person they know likes it. Some people like music that's universally (as far as they're concerned) loved and appreciated by all those around them because it let's them feel like part of a group, I like music that doesn't get played on the radio, that's hard to listen to sometimes and most people have never heard of because it let's me feel like part of a better, more exclusive group.

I'm such an asshole.

Job Searchin'

I've been applying to a lot of jobs online recently. I don't actually believe I'm going to get any of the jobs I apply for because for the most part, I don't think these jobs actually exist. I don't know anyone who's gotten a job based on an application they filled out online or because of a resume they posted online. I really don't think the internet works like that. I'm pretty sure internet job applications are for people who are on unemployment and have to prove that they are looking for jobs.

Another reason I don't think I'm going to get any internet jobs I apply for is because I don't think my resume is very impressive, nor are my cover letters really. My problem is that I don't really like talking about myself. Well, that's not entirely true. What I don't like talking about are positive things about myself. It sort of goes against my self-deprecating style of writing.

Two unrelated music thoughts:
1. I have recently become aware of the fact that Akon Family and The Avett Brothers are not the same band.

2. I don't think there is anyway The Go! Team could ever duplicate the dynamism of their studio sound live, in concert. Proove me wrong, The Go! Team, I dare you.

Meanwhile, on the internet...

Yesterday Matthew told me about a website called passiveaggressivenotes.com. It is just as amazing as one would expect a website with that name to be. Specifically, this note:

A short story

Phillip was sitting in a library. A library was not an uncommon place for Phillip to be sitting. Phillip liked to read, he liked quiet places, and he liked touching things that have been handled by countless strangers. Phillip loved libraries. This library, however, was unlike any Phillip had ever been in. For one thing, this library had no tables or big comfy chairs with inconveniently located, but color coordinated foot stools. It had no card catalog or computer that told where particular books were located.

What it did have was books. Lots and lots and lots of books. Books about every subject imaginable, and some subjects that were completely unimaginable; books about horseback riding, archery, lollipop boxing, fish squandering, presidential birthdays, and Jupiter's least impressive moon by one of it's former rulers ("Memories of Metis" by Julius Pennington. This book is widely regarded as one of the least complimentary pieces of literature ever written. One chapter in particular is cited as the most vulgar collection of words ever assembled. The chapter has no title, but because of it's memorable first line is often referred to the "Fuck all y'all" chapter.
"Metia Singulus is shit, everyone who lives there is shit, especially all those bitches in the Dome of Conncurrent Wisdom; Fuck all y'all".)

Phillip wasn't entirely sure how he got into this library, or why he knew it was a library, but he did know that his fiancee wasn't going to be pleased that he wasn't at L'Ocho with her, this was date night after all. Phillip decided that he didn't really care that his fiancee was going to be mad at him. She was always mad at him. She'd get over it. Phillip walked over to a shelf that towered higher up than Phillip could see. He picked up a book at random ("How to Poison a Prince: Even more New and Exciting ways to Commit Regicide" by Gertrude Whipple), sat down, propped his back against the shelf, and began reading.

Trivia Writing for Dummies

I started writing Trivia Night questions today. I picked the easiest category to do first and got 10 questions done in about an hour and some change. The most important thing about writing Trivia Questions is that they have to be written in a way in which there is only one possible answer. This seems like it would be a pretty obvious rule for trivia writing, but I've been to some trivia nights where that wasn't always the case (Every one I went to at SEMO). I feel like my symbolic logic background has prepared me quite well for writing trivia questions. It has also prepared me for a life of crippling indecision. Thanks philosophy! Thanks for making me question even the most basic intellectual constructs so that even simple tasks, like counting, take on a whole new dimension of complexity! It's not entirely the fault of my brief foray into philosophy, I'm a pretty indecisive person anyway (mostly because of my extreme pragmatism), but still, I've never been the same since I pretended to be a philosophy major.

In other news, I'm unstoppable at Board Games this year. I've gone 7 for 8 in board games in 2010. I've won 2 games of Risk, 2 games of Race for the Galaxy, 2 games of X-box Scene-it (which although not technically on a board, it's pretty much a board game) and one game of Last Night On Earth (I should've won another game of that, but I made a couple of play mistakes and had a kind of unlucky draw). Point being, if you want your ass handed to you in sort of board game, I know a guy that can help you out: Me. I'm awesome.

Up in the Air is a good movie and other things I'm thinking about

Don't believe the trailers, Up in the Air does have a plot, just not much of one. Don't let it's lack of plot deter you though, Up in the Air is a really good film. It's similar to Away We Go, but not as cheerful or funny and for some reason, I think I liked it more. I just IMDBed the younger girl from Up in the Air and she's apparently playing Stacey Pilgrim in the forthcoming Scott Pilgrim movie. Huzzah.

Speaking of upcoming movies, I saw some trailers for movies lately. Specifically this trailer. I'm guessing this film is some kind of joke. The original film was an occasionally funny, but nonetheless entertaining farce , but I don't see any need to remake it, especially not a mere 3 years after the original was released. There is a precedent for American studios to remake popular foreign films for American audiences, but this was a Frank Oz movie with a mostly British cast playing British people (with the exception of Alan Tudyk, who is an American actor who played a British man and Peter Dinklage, an American actor playing an American). As ridiculous as this concept is I will probably still see this movie because I like a lot of the cast, especially Mr. Peter Dinklage who has bravely chosen to play the exact same role that he played in the original film.