Summer Pre-Season Spectacular!

Tomorrow is the last day of April, which means Saturday is the first day of May which means summer is pretty much almost here, which means it's time for a list. Here's a list of things I'm really looking forward to this summer and some (hopefully) humorous remarks about them. (in chronological order, when appropriate).
1. Iron Man 2

I mean, look at this guy. For some reason, I always liked War Machine more than Iron Man. I think it was probably because War Machine is a lot cooler name than Iron man, also the color scheme is a lot cooler, also, he's black. I love Don Cheadle (I mean, LOVE him, love him). Scarlett Johannson is also in this movie and is also awesome (of course by awesome I mean hot,ex: "Careful, I just took that pizza out of the oven, it's very awesome."). And let's not forget about RDJ. So much has been said about the man the little else can be said to describe him other than this; he is the Johnny Depp of the years 2008 thru 2012, and maybe longer depending on A: how much the next Pirates movie sucks and 2: How many Avengers movies they make.

2. The 48 Hour Film Festival: Year 2.
Ok, so Brian Trainmayer and I's web series idea never happened. We made a go of it, but it just didn't happen, and probably never will. But we are going to work together on something called the 48 hour film festival. We were on a team last year and the results of that teams effort was mixed at best (it was mostly a mixture of sucking and terribleness). Fortunately this year, we have group of more like-minded people. We'll see how well it works out.
3. Musica!
There are some new albums from bands I like coming out this summer. The only ones I can think of right now are The Black Keys and The Arcade Fire. I like both of these bands with muchness, and hopefully their new albums will worthy additions to the respective bands' already quite auspicious legacies. Also if they tour near here, I would like to see both of these bands live. Speaking of concerts (which I was) Jeff Tweedy and She and Him are both going to be playing in St. Louis this summer!

4. Family
Most of my family lives within 120 miles of my house, so I get to see them with some regularity, but there are a select few who live outside that tri-state bubble, and when they make it back to Cape it is always a joyous occasion that involves more than a little amount of boardgame nights and ice cream parties. Joe is coming home for a week in May and Katie will be home this weekend (I haven't heard whether or not Joshua will be making an appearance this summer, but it's sadly, unlikely), so that will be exciting.

5. Pete and Kaylen's Wedding!
In addition to being one of the cutest couples I know, (although, to be fair there's not a lot of competition, assuming that I'm only counting couples that are my age and are friends of mine, which I am, so really they're one of the cutest of about 10 couples, which is still something, I suppose)

Pete and Kaylen and just about the swellest people I know. So I'm about as happy as I can be for them as I can be for people that are not me. I think it's pretty well known that empathy isn't one of my strong suits, so I yeah, I think that says something. By the way, the above picture is one of their engagement pictures. It's not part of some sort of creepy stash of photographs I have of Pete and Kaylen just lying around on my computer (although I do have some of those, but they're mostly of Pete, dressed as famous dead painters and are for my eyes only).

6. Scott Pilgrim Book 6/Scott Pilgrim vs the World
There really is nothing else in this world that I am more excited about the the Scott Pilgrim movie. I think I've mentioned before that I enjoy the work of Edgar Wright. He is my hero. And the Scott Pilgrim comic book series is pretty much a pitch perfect love story for hipster nerds like myself. The marriage of these two properties is something beyond perfect. Plus after seeing Chris Evans movie stealing performance in The Losers last week, I became even more excited about the prospect of him being involved in this film. In short, this movie will rock and there's nothing you can do about it.

Ok that's all I can think of now. It's entirely likely that I will blog about this things more when they happen, but I think it's entirely more likely that I won't, so there you have it.

The Old F***ing West

Over the past two weeks I watched the Television program Deadwood in it's entirety. Being a show with an all too brief 36 episode run, this was not an incredibly difficult task, but it was also an not easy one (How's that for a thesis statement!). Due to the intricacy of the plot and the engrossingness (Spellcheck doesn't believe that "engrossingness" is a word. It also doesn't think "spellcheck" is a word. There's probably some sort of joke in there...) of the show it was hard for me to do anything else while watching, which means I spent approximately 30 hours doing nothing but watching television over the course of two weeks (although I actually finished it last Sunday, which means I watched 30 hours over the course of 10 days). That is almost as much time as I spent working during the same period of time. I'll let the loserishness implied by that previous statement sink in a moment.

NEXT PARAGRAPH!

The first two seasons of Deadwood are some of the best television I've ever seen (although to be fair, since it was on HBO, it's not technically television (it's HBO)). The show builds, literally and deliberately. The first two seasons tell the story of a group of people that all happen to be in the same place at the same time and how that group becomes a community that becomes a town on the cusp on legality in a territory that doesn't really belong to them that becomes a bonafide town recognized by the United States Government. The pacing of this growth and it's affect on the central characters of the program is incredible to watch, this is do in large part to one of the most talented ensemble casts ever assembled (we're talking Star Trek TNG levels of talent here), but also due to the sheer fascinating nature of the story, which is mostly based on real people and events. The third season is about how the community bonds when threatened by an outside force in a storyline that, unfortunately, vastly overstays its welcome. The third season is also the last season of the show, but it seems like this came as a surprise to the creators, as it doesn't really finish as much as it stops. There's not a lot of closure at Deadwood's conclusion, and that's a shame.

The vulgarity is Deadwood is something that gets talked about a lot, and well it should be. The profanity bandied about in Deadwood is outstanding, both in its prevalence and it's eloquence. I have no problem with profanity. I think the idea that some words are assigned some sort of negative significance or infamy is an incredibly ludicrous concept. The idea that we as a society agree to find some words offensive based purely on tradition is comical. There are things that are unpleasant by their very nature, and to bring them up in certain situations can be inappropriate. I don't think talking about feces is every really appropriate, but if and when I do, the idea that poo, poop, doo doo, etc. are acceptable words to describe it around some people, whereas "crap" and "shit" would not be around the same people, is ridiculous. You can't say "asshole" on broadcast television. Everyone who has every lived has one of those, but you can't call it by that particular name on television because it's offensive. You can say murder on television, which is something that is far less common and a lot more offensive. Now don't get me wrong, I love profanity, and wouldn't want to speak a language that didn't have swear words, I just don't think people should act scandalized when they hear it, because that is exactly what they are doing; acting. People are conditioned to respond negatively to those words, and to be "offended" by their use isn't a rational reaction, it's a conditioned response. So I guess what I'm saying, is that if you have a problem with swear words, scrote up, and watch Deadwood anyway, and you will learn how much vulgarity can elevate conversation when used deftly.

So yeah, Deadwood. It's good.

Some possible titles for future blogposts if my life suddenly became a lot more awesome...

1. Me and Edgar Wright; The Graveyard Adventure!

2. My New Robotic Exo-suit is pretty cool

3. What should I name my Tiger?

4. Lycanthropy isn't all it's cracked up to be (It's Better!)

5. So I guess I'll be posting a lot more about being a ninja now...

6. Good News: Stevie Spielberg asked me to write Indiana Jones 5. Better News: The Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch is back.

7. Is it just me or have I developed magical powers?

8. I just met Jack White, and despite numerous dreams to the contrary, he doesn't hate me!

Clash of the Titans Sucks; or Pete Wissinger is an Idiot

So my very good friend Pete recently wrote a post defending Clash of the Titans. He agrees that it's not a good movie, but he says that it is exactly the kind of movie the preview led us to believe it would be. I suppose this is sort of true in as much as the preview was a series of out of context scenes and lines thrown together without any sort of coherence that looked really cool, but had no depth or characters to speak of or a plot that made sense, so in that respect the trailer was exactly like the movie in every way. Although I think, generally, we assume that the lines of dialogue and scenes shown in trailers will add up to something more when seen in the context of the entire film, but that wasn't the case with Clash of the Titans, what you see in the preview is pretty much exactly how you see it in the film. The film is a series of plot and dialogue non-sequitors strung together by Sam Worthington's horrible acting.

Everything about Clash of the Titans was bad (except for the special effects, most of the time), the acting wasn't good, the plot is inconsistent, the characters are unlikable, the screenplay seems like it was written by a committee of people who like cliches and who think that Transformers 2 is the greatest movie ever made. Nothing anyone does in the movie makes sense.

Hades: You know Zeus, since you are powered by people loving you, and I'm powered by people fearing me, it would probably be a good idea if I released a giant scary sea monster on a city of people that hate you, which would probably make them fear me more and make them love you even less.
Zeus: I can't see how that could go wrong.

Argosian Commander: We as a city have declared war on "the gods", who are fueled by us praying to them or something.
Sam Worthington: Yeah, the gods suck.
Argosian Commander: Totally. You know who is awesome and I wish was my best friend?
Sam Worthington: Zeus?
Argosian Commander: Yes. He is so awesome. Let's pray to him.
Sam Worthington: I'm already there, man.

Io: Ok, so here's what you need to know about Medusa. She turns you to stone if you look at her eyes, she's super fast, an incredible archer and she can't hurt women.
Sam Worthington: Oh, well this won't be too bad then, you can just go in there in take her out, no problem.
Io: Right, but I won't be joining you.
Sam Worthington: What?
Io: I won't be going in Medusa's cave.
Sam Worthington: Why not?
Io: Some sort of curse or something. It's not really explained all that well.
Sam Worthington: So wait, she can't hurt you?
Io: Not even if she tried.
Sam Worthington: And you won't be coming with us?
Io: Nope. And it's a double shame because not only am I immune to her powers, I'm a pretty good fighter as well, so... yeah. Your men are probably all going to die, really pointlessly too.
Sam Worthington: That's retarded.
Io: Yup.


I think it should be mentioned again that Sam Worthington is especially terrible in this film. Nothing he does in the movie is good. I don't understand why people keep putting him in their movies. He's not a particularly charismatic presence nor is he a particularly good actor. Also his accent is all over the place in the film. I know what he's doing is incredibly hard. Acting is not easy. Not everyone can do it, and I think Sam Worthington might just be one of those people.

Pete claims that it's acceptable for Clash of the Titans to be unabashedly terrible because it's a big dumb action movie, and big dumb action movies don't have to be good, but I think there have been enough big dumb action movies recently that have also been good (Pirates 1, Iron Man, GI Joe {yeah, I said it}, the last 2 Harry Potter movies, Sherlock Holmes, Batman Begins and Dark Knight) that we can start expecting more from our big dumb action movies.

So to put it in the immortal words of Tracey Jordan, "Yeah, suck it Pete."

Easter and What Not.

Today is Easter. Today is the day I end my Lenten resolution of not consuming sweets (technically I ended it after Easter Vigil Mass when I went to the BeeK and got a Dr. Pepper with my Tendercrisp). This is the second time I've given up sweets for Lent in addition to my normal giving up of soda and I would say that it was just as successful as my previous attempt. I didn't break my resolution, though I wanted to on many occasions, and I ate an s-load of apples. I pretty much increased my fruit and nut consumption by approximately 1000% this Lent, as I decided that they are not technically sweets.

Ok two things unrelated to Lent/Easter:

I'm listening to an album that Jimmy K gave me by a band called Chairlift. There is only one Chairlift song I'd ever heard before; it's called "Bruises". I first heard it when I went to Las Vegas (which I don't think I ever blogged about, sorry blog), it was kind of the unofficial theme song of my trip to Vegas. Not because it was particularly relevant to what I experienced on the trip, but just because of its ubiquity. It was featured in an I-pod commercial that was played repeatedly on an outdoor TV billboard outside of a mall that I walked by at least 5 times a day. It's the only song on the album that is worth listening to so far.

I've been reading some of the things I've written, short stories, blog posts, etc. and I've discovered, or more accurately rediscovered, that I really enjoy my writing. It really makes me laugh. Unfortunately, I don't think I can write like that anymore. I haven't written anything significant since I graduated, and all the incidental writing I do (like what I'm writing right now) is pretty dry and boring. This leads me to the conclusion that I am becoming less talented. I think that talent might be like a muscle, and it's been so long since I've used mine, it's atrophying.

I find it difficult to be productive when I have no real reason to be. I'm not hard enough on myself to make myself do anything I don't want to do. And it's not that I don't want to write, there's just other things I'd rather do. I think part of my problem is that I have too many distractions, too many things that I use as an excuse not to write. Perhaps, in order to become more productive I should remove some of those distractions. So I guess what I'm saying is that I should murder Justin Spaeth so I have more time to write.

Just kidding. Or am I? Who's to say really? I am. I am to say, and I'm saying; Your days are numbered Justin Blair Spaeth!

A brief discussion about what might be the most important moment in human history...

Last week (or maybe two weeks ago, I don't remember at this point), a movie trailer was released upon the webternet. The trailer fortells of a film that will come out in mid August that will, most likely, forever change the course of human history. The movie in question is called Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, and with it's release, it has the very real potential of succeeding in a way no other film before ever has. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World will very likely win the art of filmmaking.

If you haven't seen it, take a moment to now. I'll wait.

There have been many great films in the history of the artform, and very few that are perfect (there are five perfect films: The Godfather, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Star Wars: Episode IV, A Knight's Tale, and Shaun of the Dead), but Scott Pilgrim will very probably be the first and only film that will achieve a status that is beyond perfection. New adjectives will have to be invented in order to accurately capture the amount of goodness that exists within the film.

One might say that I'm setting the bar a little high, that my expectations are a bit too lofty, but to them I say this: If this world is a world wherein Edgar Wright can make a movie based on one of my favorite Comics, that stars Michael Cera and Jason Schwartzman and that movie is not the greatest film ever made, then this world is not worth living in. I can't even imagine a scenario in which I would not love this movie more than life itself. Normally when people say things like what I said in the previous sentence, they are being hyperbolic. Let me assure you, I am not. Trying to imagine Scott Pilgrim not being the greatest single work achieved by humanity is like trying to imagine a world where math doesn't work or where Zooey Deschanel isn't completely adorable.

Also I got a new computer.