A post about the Office

I am probably the most vocal critic of the American Office in the world (Proove me wrong, I dare you). I love nothing more (not even breathing) than to pick apart each episode to find every possible flaw and logical and emotional disconnect that I can find in order to fuel my argument that the American Office is the most overrated show of all time, ever (except for MASH). It is a show that has forsaken its simple, but compelling premise of making insightful, subtle comedy about the tedium of working in an office into something that is about a laugh track away of being a Two and a Half Men lead in. The Office has become a bad show.

Or at least that's what I thought.

Then I saw an episode entitled "The Banker". This episode might be the single greatest work of comedy writing ever shown on television. Before the Christmas break, the gang at the Office were in a bit of trouble. Dunder Mifflin, which is a company traded on the New York Stock Exchange (Maybe you've heard of it?), but doesn't have a functional web site, was in for a big shake up. The corporate big-wigs were all getting fired and the future looked uncertain for our favorite Scranton workaholics. Office fans were full of questions heading into this weeks episode and the Office addressed all those questions with two simple, but powerful words: Clip. Show.

Were you wondering who was going to take David Wallace's position as the new CFO? Well, let me answer that question by showing clips of people saying "That's what she said".

Were you concerned about how Pam and Jim's baby is doing? Perhaps some footage of Jim playing basketball from the first season will allay your fears.

Is the Office going to continue to be better than the last two seasons, but nowhere near as good as the first three seasons? I think you'll find what you're looking for in these scenes of Michael hitting shelves with a fork lift.

I thought that we, as a society, were done with clip shows, especially in our sitcoms, especially in our sitcoms that are supposed to be one of the best shows on television (I don't know anyone who actually thinks this. I think The Office is becoming like the Simpsons; something that is beyond critical scorn, a television institution that is just watched and admired unquestioningly, despite how ridiculously bad it gets. Although, fortunately, The Office hasn't yet approached the level of mediocrity that the Simpsons has sunk to). I don't know why, but for some reason the idea of The Office doing a clip so is especially ludicrous to me. I think this is because in essence, the show is kind of clip show anyway. It's a highlight real of all the funny stuff that happens that day in the office. They don't need the excuse of an episode devoted to showing the "best of" every episode before it to make reference to previous episodes. When Michael says, "that reminds me of the time I wrecked my car", they cut to him wrecking his car. This kind of thing happens in every episode. Usually it's footage specific to that episode, but still, the concept is nothing new. However, because they rarely make references to things that happen in previous episodes (except for plot relevant stuff) and even rarer do they actually show footage from earlier episodes, the act of having an episode where they do nothing but show footage from old episodes is not only a break in the shows normal format, but incredibly lame.

In summation, clip shows are lazy and stupid and I'm glad the Office is starting to suck again, because it justifies my completely irrational hatred of it (which I think is just a reaction to it's popularity versus the popularity of the British version, which is far superior in almost every way, and I'm not just saying that because I'm an Anglophile, and also my general dislike of everything that is nearly universally liked).

Next time I'll talk about a book I just read called "The Time Traveler's Wife". Here's an excerpt:

"I thought that"

See you next time.

Chuck vs. Me hating him

Sometime last year I developed an appreciation for the NBC series Chuck.
This appreciation had a lot to do with the sort of nerdy references that the show frequently made and also because of the interesting will-they won't they chemistry between the shows two leads, Chuck, played by Zach Levi, the one on the right, and Sarah, played by Yvonne Strahovski, the one on the left (and I would be lying if I didn't acknowledge the fact that Sarah's choice of attire, or lack there of, in some episodes is also a slight draw to the show, but totally not in a creepy way if you're reading this Yvonne... ok, maybe it's a little creepy, but still, if you wanted to go out or something I totally wouldn't be creepy at all. We could just go Panera or something, get some soup, maybe go catch a movie, talk for a bit then maybe go for a walk down by the river and then we'd both go our separate ways. Then maybe a couple days later I'd text you something like, "I had fun the other night" and you could text back something like "me 2 :)", and I'd be like "That's cool, we should get married. LOL" and you'd be like "that sounds awesome! LOL" then I'd be like, "No. I'm serious" and you'd be like "Me 2."). But recently I have fallen out of favor with Chuck.

The show is more or less a spy procedural, and as such, there aren't a lot that changes from week to week. The problem with this is that it's not a particularly good spy procedural. It seems like it was written back in the 90's before the general population had seen Jason Bourne movies or Munich; when the world believed, for the most part, that spying and counter-intelligence worked pretty much like it did in the Roger Moore James Bond movies (It's all about gadgets and witty comebacks and terrorists wanting to blow up the world unless they got paid a million dollars). Living in a post 9-11 (I hate using that phrase) world, Americans are (or should be) too smart to fall for this kind of nonsense. It's not that all TV should depict the world as it really is, but Chuck seems to take a remarkably juvenile approach to how the world works, and in a completely earnest way. There is nothing ironic about the depiction of the world in the Chuckverse (or the Chucktinuum as I sometimes call it). The struggle between the good guys and bad guys in Chuck is so painfully black and white that it approaches Disney levels of naivety. There are a couple of instances where the show veers off into slightly greyish moral areas (When Sarah shoots a guy in cold blood to protect Chuck) and, for me these are some of the shows high points.

Chuck (the show)'s inability to have any sort of significant changes to the main characters from episode to episode is also a bit frustrating to me. I don't know who along the line made the decision, but at some point, someone decided that at the end of every episode, the status quo should be immediately restored (unless it's the end of the season). Sarah gets fired? She comes back to save the day at the end of the episode. A new Intersect is made rendering Chuck (the character) unnecessary? The new intersect is actually a bomb and blows up the whole project so they have to start from scratch. The gang of bad guys from the first two seasons is defeated? It turns out they were just a puppet organization of the real enemies, The Ring. The lengths this show goes to not change absolutely anything about their formula for episodes is beyond ridiculous. It undermines any of the drama that could possibly be created because the audience knows at the end of the episode, all will be returned to normal. It punishing the fans of the show by essentially making them watch the same episode over and over again, which goes a little something like this:

Bad Guy: I'm going to steal something/kill somebody... In Los Angeles!
Meanwhile....

Sarah: So this bad guy and this thing the bad guy wants are in Los Angeles.
Chuck: I know where they are. I can stop them.
Sarah: Ok, let's go.

Chuck tries to stop them but fails, comically (usually because the bad guy isn't where he's supposed to be).

Chuck: I couldn't stop them.
Sarah: I don't believe the bad guy is really here anymore. Blah Blah Blah, boy who cried wolf.
Chuck: Well if you don't believe me, I'll just stop them myself.

Chuck runs away, gets into trouble, Sarah and Casey save him.

Chuck: Thanks guys, I guess I shouldn't have gone after them by myself.
Sarah: No, it's our fault for some reason.
Casey: Chuck, you know Sarah is in love with you.
Chuck: What!?

Chuck and Sarah have a moment, but it's cut short by some ridiculous bullshit. The end.


So to sum up, I don't like Chuck because it completely refuses to be postmodern. It his an extremely conventional TV show that has, somehow, amassed massive critical goodwill by mentioning Arcade Fire a couple times in its first season and occasionally playing Spoon songs. That being said, I will continue to watch it, because it's still funny frequently, it occasionally has awesome guest stars (Chevy Chase, Scott Bakula, Vinnie Jones, Brandon Routh...) and because Sarah walks around in her bra and panties every three episodes or so.

Late Night

This past week I worked an overnight shift at Walmart. I had never worked an overnight shift before. I'm experiencing the hardest part of working that shift right now, as it is 4:44 and I'm not asleep and have to get up at 9 tomorrow. I adapted pretty quickly to staying up late, and I'm not really sure how to unadapt. I fell asleep at 10 last night, but woke up at midnight and have been awake since. I'm going to be hella tired tomorrow, but that's alright. I'll catch up eventually. On the plus side, this experience has gotten me blogging about something that has been noticeably missing since I restarted this blog, sleeping. Riveting.

In other Walmart news that is also news about me Sunday will be my last day as a Lawn and Garden Associate (sad face), and Monday will be my first day as a pharmacy tech (conflicted face?). Wednesday night, whilst working the overnight shift, the pharmacy manager came up to me and asked if I was ready for an interview. Thursday night management was filling out my transfer paperwork (which doesn't really involve much paper). I had put Pharmacy as an option for career preferences because it pays better than my current position, but I thought I would be somewhere else before I actually got a chance to be in the pharmacy. As it turns out, I'm not somewhere else, so I guess I'll be going to Pharmacy.

Here's why I'm conflicted. Pharmacy is a full time job, which means I'll be making more money, but it is also a much bigger commitment than I had previously signed up for at Walmart. But more than that, I didn't really want to start working a full time job until I got a job in my field. Getting a full time job doing something that isn't video production or whatever feels like I'm giving up on doing what I want to do. I know this is a ridiculous thing to think, but it's difficult for me to see the short term benefits of taking a semi-serious job in a completely unrelated field when it feels like I'm giving up on my long term goal. I see a lot of people who take jobs they don't particularly like because of the short term benefits, then they get stuck doing that job for the rest of their life. A lot of them work at Wal-mart. The longer they do it, the easier it is to justify doing it.

This scenario is completely unacceptable to me. Mostly because work, for these people, becomes the means to their ends, and that's not what I want. They work to support their wives or husbands or children (or to buy more booze or guns or shoes or whatever, but it's usually the former). They work so they can live the rest of their life during the two days of the week they don't work and the one week of vacation they get a year, and what they have on those days is supposed makes it all worth it. There is no thing nor anyone that could make me spend 300 days a year something I don't want to do. I want work to be an end in an of itself, and although I do enjoy working at Wal-mart, it's not what I want to do. It's not an end.

I know this is a sentiment that most people have. No one is doing exactly what they want to do, and that's how life works. Giving up the dream is part of growing up. It's a concept captured nearly perfectly in a film I love to hate called Up, and maybe that's why I hate the movie. It's essentially about giving up on your dreams and then trying to recapture them later in life and realizing that your dreams were kind of crappy in the first place (and the talking dog says "Squirrel!" Hilarious!!! Dogs chase squirrels!). It's a reminder that part of growing up is realizing that you're not going to get to do everything you want to do and maybe that's not something I'm ready to concede just yet.

But for now, I'll be working 5 days a week in the Jackson Wal-mart Pharmacy and trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do with my life.

Damian Kulash (spelling?) does a pretty good Prince impression on the first track of OK Go's new album.

A Conversation

This is a conversation I usually have a couple of times a year. It happens when I meet someone new. I had this conversation last night at work (this isn't exactly how it when, but it was close).

Me: So, what kind of music do you like?
Them: Pretty much anything. I like all music.
Me: Do you like opera?
Them: I don't know.
Me: You probably don't. Opera is pretty terrible.
Them: Maybe I don't.
Me: What about Jazz?
Them: I don't really listen to Jazz.
Me: Hmm. What kind of music do you listen to?
Them: Pretty much everything else. Shinedown, Sugarland, Taylor Swift, Nickelback, Johnny Cash... you know, everything else.
Me: How do you feel about Rascal Flatts?
Them: I love Rascal Flatts.
Me: Of course you do.

I'm am such an asshole.

I find that, most of the time, when people say they like all music, they mean that they like all the music that gets played on the three radio stations they like to listen to. It took me a long time to start listening to music that doesn't get played on the radio, and it was a gradual process. I think most people just don't care enough to find other music to listen to, and really, they don't need to. It's entirely possible that they enjoy their music as much or more than as much as I enjoy mine. I like a lot of music that I know that most other people have never heard of before, and I don't like to admit it, but some of my enjoyment comes from the fact that a lot of people have never heard of it. I think its entirely possible that the converse is true for some people, they like music because almost every other person they know likes it. Some people like music that's universally (as far as they're concerned) loved and appreciated by all those around them because it let's them feel like part of a group, I like music that doesn't get played on the radio, that's hard to listen to sometimes and most people have never heard of because it let's me feel like part of a better, more exclusive group.

I'm such an asshole.

Job Searchin'

I've been applying to a lot of jobs online recently. I don't actually believe I'm going to get any of the jobs I apply for because for the most part, I don't think these jobs actually exist. I don't know anyone who's gotten a job based on an application they filled out online or because of a resume they posted online. I really don't think the internet works like that. I'm pretty sure internet job applications are for people who are on unemployment and have to prove that they are looking for jobs.

Another reason I don't think I'm going to get any internet jobs I apply for is because I don't think my resume is very impressive, nor are my cover letters really. My problem is that I don't really like talking about myself. Well, that's not entirely true. What I don't like talking about are positive things about myself. It sort of goes against my self-deprecating style of writing.

Two unrelated music thoughts:
1. I have recently become aware of the fact that Akon Family and The Avett Brothers are not the same band.

2. I don't think there is anyway The Go! Team could ever duplicate the dynamism of their studio sound live, in concert. Proove me wrong, The Go! Team, I dare you.

Meanwhile, on the internet...

Yesterday Matthew told me about a website called passiveaggressivenotes.com. It is just as amazing as one would expect a website with that name to be. Specifically, this note:

A short story

Phillip was sitting in a library. A library was not an uncommon place for Phillip to be sitting. Phillip liked to read, he liked quiet places, and he liked touching things that have been handled by countless strangers. Phillip loved libraries. This library, however, was unlike any Phillip had ever been in. For one thing, this library had no tables or big comfy chairs with inconveniently located, but color coordinated foot stools. It had no card catalog or computer that told where particular books were located.

What it did have was books. Lots and lots and lots of books. Books about every subject imaginable, and some subjects that were completely unimaginable; books about horseback riding, archery, lollipop boxing, fish squandering, presidential birthdays, and Jupiter's least impressive moon by one of it's former rulers ("Memories of Metis" by Julius Pennington. This book is widely regarded as one of the least complimentary pieces of literature ever written. One chapter in particular is cited as the most vulgar collection of words ever assembled. The chapter has no title, but because of it's memorable first line is often referred to the "Fuck all y'all" chapter.
"Metia Singulus is shit, everyone who lives there is shit, especially all those bitches in the Dome of Conncurrent Wisdom; Fuck all y'all".)

Phillip wasn't entirely sure how he got into this library, or why he knew it was a library, but he did know that his fiancee wasn't going to be pleased that he wasn't at L'Ocho with her, this was date night after all. Phillip decided that he didn't really care that his fiancee was going to be mad at him. She was always mad at him. She'd get over it. Phillip walked over to a shelf that towered higher up than Phillip could see. He picked up a book at random ("How to Poison a Prince: Even more New and Exciting ways to Commit Regicide" by Gertrude Whipple), sat down, propped his back against the shelf, and began reading.

Trivia Writing for Dummies

I started writing Trivia Night questions today. I picked the easiest category to do first and got 10 questions done in about an hour and some change. The most important thing about writing Trivia Questions is that they have to be written in a way in which there is only one possible answer. This seems like it would be a pretty obvious rule for trivia writing, but I've been to some trivia nights where that wasn't always the case (Every one I went to at SEMO). I feel like my symbolic logic background has prepared me quite well for writing trivia questions. It has also prepared me for a life of crippling indecision. Thanks philosophy! Thanks for making me question even the most basic intellectual constructs so that even simple tasks, like counting, take on a whole new dimension of complexity! It's not entirely the fault of my brief foray into philosophy, I'm a pretty indecisive person anyway (mostly because of my extreme pragmatism), but still, I've never been the same since I pretended to be a philosophy major.

In other news, I'm unstoppable at Board Games this year. I've gone 7 for 8 in board games in 2010. I've won 2 games of Risk, 2 games of Race for the Galaxy, 2 games of X-box Scene-it (which although not technically on a board, it's pretty much a board game) and one game of Last Night On Earth (I should've won another game of that, but I made a couple of play mistakes and had a kind of unlucky draw). Point being, if you want your ass handed to you in sort of board game, I know a guy that can help you out: Me. I'm awesome.

Up in the Air is a good movie and other things I'm thinking about

Don't believe the trailers, Up in the Air does have a plot, just not much of one. Don't let it's lack of plot deter you though, Up in the Air is a really good film. It's similar to Away We Go, but not as cheerful or funny and for some reason, I think I liked it more. I just IMDBed the younger girl from Up in the Air and she's apparently playing Stacey Pilgrim in the forthcoming Scott Pilgrim movie. Huzzah.

Speaking of upcoming movies, I saw some trailers for movies lately. Specifically this trailer. I'm guessing this film is some kind of joke. The original film was an occasionally funny, but nonetheless entertaining farce , but I don't see any need to remake it, especially not a mere 3 years after the original was released. There is a precedent for American studios to remake popular foreign films for American audiences, but this was a Frank Oz movie with a mostly British cast playing British people (with the exception of Alan Tudyk, who is an American actor who played a British man and Peter Dinklage, an American actor playing an American). As ridiculous as this concept is I will probably still see this movie because I like a lot of the cast, especially Mr. Peter Dinklage who has bravely chosen to play the exact same role that he played in the original film.

2010: Options, options options.

The title of this post is a reference to something my friend Matthew mutters to himself when he becomes aware of how long he is taking to make a decision while playing a game. We frequently mock him for this particular mannerism of his. I wasn't entirely sure how to punctuate the phrase.

So in case you haven't noticed, it's 2010. I've decided that I'm going to have a lot of New Year's Resolutions this year because I need to resolve to do a lot of things and I'm going to publish a list of them here to better catalog my failures for future depressive ramblings. So in no particular order here are some things I'm going to try to do during the next 365 days.

1. Finish writing and shoot and edit Drawing Bored
2. Find a real job preferably somewhere not in Cape so I can justifiably...
3. Move away from Cape
4. Write more in general, specifically screenplays and blogposts
5. Become kind of an adult, but not so much of an adult that I suck

One is going to be the easiest and most fun. Two and three have a lot of corollaries and are going to be really hard to do. Four is really more about me not wasting time as much as I currently do and Five is kind of a byproduct of 2-4, so it kind of goes without saying except for the last part, although I don't think I'll ever become that much of an adult.

Anyway, I'll try to keep you updated on my relative progress on these and other goals I have.