Tuesday, January 05, 2010

A short story

Phillip was sitting in a library. A library was not an uncommon place for Phillip to be sitting. Phillip liked to read, he liked quiet places, and he liked touching things that have been handled by countless strangers. Phillip loved libraries. This library, however, was unlike any Phillip had ever been in. For one thing, this library had no tables or big comfy chairs with inconveniently located, but color coordinated foot stools. It had no card catalog or computer that told where particular books were located.

What it did have was books. Lots and lots and lots of books. Books about every subject imaginable, and some subjects that were completely unimaginable; books about horseback riding, archery, lollipop boxing, fish squandering, presidential birthdays, and Jupiter's least impressive moon by one of it's former rulers ("Memories of Metis" by Julius Pennington. This book is widely regarded as one of the least complimentary pieces of literature ever written. One chapter in particular is cited as the most vulgar collection of words ever assembled. The chapter has no title, but because of it's memorable first line is often referred to the "Fuck all y'all" chapter.
"Metia Singulus is shit, everyone who lives there is shit, especially all those bitches in the Dome of Conncurrent Wisdom; Fuck all y'all".)

Phillip wasn't entirely sure how he got into this library, or why he knew it was a library, but he did know that his fiancee wasn't going to be pleased that he wasn't at L'Ocho with her, this was date night after all. Phillip decided that he didn't really care that his fiancee was going to be mad at him. She was always mad at him. She'd get over it. Phillip walked over to a shelf that towered higher up than Phillip could see. He picked up a book at random ("How to Poison a Prince: Even more New and Exciting ways to Commit Regicide" by Gertrude Whipple), sat down, propped his back against the shelf, and began reading.

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