Tribute to my friends that were born today:

The Big Guy

There was a man named Spants
Who lacked the skill to dance
till he bought some new socks
and some music that rocks
and put on some bellbottom pants

Once Upon a time there were two boys named Pete and Steve. They lived in a place called Cairo Illinois with their parents, Mary-Helen and Pete and Steve's Dad. Things were going great until the Necromancer showed up. That guys is a total D-bag. Anyway some crazy shit happened after he showed up, but I'm not going to tell you about it, except to say that this was some of the crazy-awsome-est shit to ever happen, ever, I am going to tell you about Fringle Skipplehop's really boring trip to the store. He went to the store. He bought some tic-tacs and a cup of store-brand vanilla yogurt. By the time he got to Pete and Steve's house everyone had left to go to the crypt of eternal suffering, which was also really awesome. Anyway, Fringle watched "The Animal" on comedy central. Later he would tell people he watched it because "there was nothing else on" but really there was plenty of other stuff on. I think there was a Bond marathon on A&E or something. That would've been hella better than "The Animal". So Pete and Steve went to college and became doctors and lawyers and had a bunch of babies with two totally smoking hot chicks who were also lawyers and doctors. It was a pretty crazy day. The End