Harry Potter, again.

About 2 years ago, I read Harry Potter books 1,2,3,4,6 and 7. I read 7 because it had just came out and I read 6 so I would remember what happened right before book 7, then I read books 1-4 because I hadn't read them in a while. Now, because the 6th movie just came out and because it's summer (which is the season during which I read Harry Potter books, since I pretty much just keep living the same year of my life over and over again), I'm rereading books 5-7. I hadn't read 5 in a while, and for good reason. It is by far her worst book. For some reason, the first 200 or so pages seem incredibly familiar to me, as if I had read then dozens of times before. I'm not sure why this is, because I've probably only read book 5 four or five times. Anyway, book five is a slog until you get to about page 400 or something. Then it becomes interesting, sort of.

Most of the events of the book worth mentioning are handled much better in the film adaptation. I think this is because Steve Kloves realized that if he actually put the majority of the words JK Rowling put in the mouths of her teenagers on screen, the only people who would like these movies are the kinds of people who watch reruns of Full House and think they are watching the height of comedic writing. That being said, Rowling is capable of writing some transcendently funny bits of dialogue, but most of the time, her characters speak in mid 90's sitcom cliches (or chant and sing in large groups, which, as we all know, is typical teenager behavior).

Things I noticed upon rereading Book 5 (which I hadn't read since before Deathly Hallows came out mind you):

1. It is hinted at ever so slightly that Dumbledore's brother lives in Hogsmeade (the reference is made in passing and seems almost like a non sequiter).

2. Also hinted at: Harry's inexplicable love for Ginny Weasley. This is another reference that is buried under pages and pages of unrelated information, then all of a sudden Harry notices something about Ginny. Then completely ignores her for the rest of the book. (I seem to recall finding Ginny and Harry's relationship a bit forced, maybe when I reread book 6 it will seem more natural, but I doubt it).

3. Harry is still a complete jackass when it comes to Snape. After seeing his father torment Snape, and after Snape alerted the Order of the Phoenix to the trouble at the ministry, Harry still hates him, for no reason. At some point Harry even says (well the narrator tells us what Harry is thinking) that he will never ever forgive Snape for getting Sirius killed.

4. RETCON: Harry rides on the "horseless carraiges" at the end of book 4. He would've seen the thestrals then, as he had seen Cedric kick off a few days prior. Yet, when he sees them in book 5 he's totally like "What the shit is this shit? Dragon Horses? Cock that!".

5. Harry keeps talking about how Voldemort killed Cedric. The entire book he's like "Voldemort killed Cedric!" or "That reminds me of that one time when I was in a graveyard and VOLDEMORT KILLED CEDRIC!", but Voldemort didn't actually kill Cedric. Peter Pettigrew did. Granted he killed Cedric on Voldy's orders, but still, I think a disctinction should've been made.

6. Harry never blames himself enough for his Godfather's death. The reapprence of the two way mirror at the end of the book acts as a reminder of A. Harry Potter's need to act like a Hero at all times and B. JK Rowling inventing objects and plot devices and then forgetting about them until it's too late for characters to use them properly, then covering the slip up by having the character comment on the fact that they really could've used that item if only they would've remembered about it earlier, Oh well, how about those wands?

7. The lack of Slytherins in Dumbledore's Amry, and really the lack of any Slytherins with any redeeming qualities whatsoever just reinforce the important lesson that, some people are just evil and it's ok to judge people based on who they associate with. First impressions are almost always the most accurate.

8. The one character who actually calls Harry out on his douchebagginess is the portrait of Sirius's Great, Great, Grandfather. Of course we can't believe anything he says because he's a Slytherin, and they are all pig rapists and cow stabbers. So because he says Harry shouldn't be acting like such a douche, it means that Harry tottally should act like a douche. Fucking Slytherins. They should all be drowned in a sack. Every one of them.

So all and all, book five is probably the most frustrating read of all the Harry Potter books. It's long, tedious at times, and Harry is at his most angsty. Next stop, book six.